This post is part of the series Adulting 101
Other posts in this series:
5 I called upon the Lord in distress: the Lord answered me, and set me in a large place
Saying that 2017 has been stressful is an understatement. While I wont go into detail just know that i’ve dealt with more in the last 9 months than I had in a long time. One thing I can say is that Stress is UNAVOIDABLE. Especially as an adult. Between work/school, bills, trying to have some sort of social life and still become a impactful member of society, it can sometimes be a little overwhelming. To be totally honest, I don’t think anyone 100% masters stress. At some point every adult has their “Breakdown” moment where it feel like life is the worst it could ever be. Below I’ll List a few things I’ve learned in my almost 32 years of life that help me deal with stress
No is not a bad word:
I can personally say a lot of the stress in my life has dealt with me saying yes to too many people about too many things. the issue is that people have a way of making you feel bad when you have to say no. No matter how many times you’ve said yes. If you’re like me you feel bad when you have to say no but what i’ve learned to do is deal with that feeling. Why do I feel bad? Do I feel I owe this person a yes, and if so Why? Wanting to do for people is not a bad thing. But many times the best thing you can do for someone is to say NO. If they really need what they are asking you for they will find a way to get it. Sometimes saying yes to everything gives people a scapegoat. It teaches some people that they don’t have to be responsible because you’ll just do it for them. Once you learn to stop taking on others needs and responsibilities as your own you’ll find yourself stressing less.
You Cant Poor from an empty Cup
You can’t give what you don’t have. Don’t stress about what you can’t do. Those who know and really love you will understand you can’t do it all. I’ve learned the hard way that there is a such thing as being too helpful. Not only does it make others become too dependent but you can begin to lose yourself. I used to spend so much time helping everyone who asked until I didn’t have what I needed for myself. In The Lords Prayer, there is literally a line that says “My Cup Runneth Over” If I want my cup to runneth over I can’t keep giving everything away until i’m on empty. It’s perfectly okay to take time for yourself. Take some time to shut out the world, relax, go to a spa. If you don’t have the money for the spa Take a nice bath. Dollar General has some really nice bath salts and candles. Also, Allow people to poor in to you. Many time it’s the nature of a giver to poor into others but they have a hard time letting people poor into them. Remember to step back and let someone be your super hero sometimes.
Be Kind to yourself
As people we tend to be harder on ourselves than we are with others. It’s like we think it’s okay for others to make mistakes but for some reason we as people think if we do 1 thing wrong it’s the end of the world. I know for myself If I do something wrong big or small it tends to bother me. I’ve had to learn to recognize my mistakes and move on.
Stress affects you mentally and physically. One thing that is true is that everyone encounters some type of stress. It’s more about how you deal with stress rather than trying to avoid stress.
Whats tips have you learned through the years to deal with stress?
Leave a comment below
Don’t forget to follow all my social media accounts